Emptiness

Embun Bening Diniari Sastrodinomo
2 min readDec 26, 2022
This photo belongs to the writer’s personal collection, taken by her.

I learned a lot of things this year, but the most memorable lesson is about emptiness. In fact, I learned it the hard way. But as painful as it is, it still offers me lessons — the valuable ones — to learn from.

I learned that emptiness can come even in the middle of the crowd, in the middle of noises, in the middle of a busy day. I can still feel how strong it is even when I am so packed with a lot of work. Strange, right? You try your best to distract the discomfort feeling you experience, but you find no way out. It stays there. Weird.

I learned that emptiness may come in waves. It comes to you little by little. One step at a time. Sometimes, you do not even realise that the feeling, which has been said hi to you, is emptiness. And then boom — it changes your life. It changes your day. It changes a lot of things.

But somehow, emptiness also comes like a tsunami. A giant wave, all at once. Turning your life upside down. One day you think you can figure it out, and tomorrow, you just do not know what to do. One day you feel a lot of happiness, you find your happy ending, you find that a fairytale does exist. The other day, you just feel……… empty. Everything has changed.

Like every story, emptiness also offers two sides of it. As weird as it sounds, emptiness also tells you a lot about people who are worth it. People who belong to your life. People who understand you and bring out the best in you — like Blue said, like no one else could do. Emptiness shows you that even after the very bad day, there is a happy day — no matter how small the happiness is. Emptiness shows you the things and people that matter the most to you.

I repeat again,

Emptiness also shows you what matters the most to you.

Embun, 26/12/22

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Embun Bening Diniari Sastrodinomo

She loves and hates things wholeheartedly, has many many many random thoughts, and sometimes speaks her mind out loud.